Not just dickgirls...
Here's a link that I found in my referal stats today. Asian Sexy Shemales. From what I understand the way referal spam usually works is some script on the site fudges things so that it appears as the referal for where ever the person next visits. That means just before reading my webcomic today this reader was checking out the action at Asian Sexy Shemales.
Okay. Who was it? C'mon don't be shy. We're not here to judge.
I tell you though, asian girls, boys, boy-girls, are certainly the princes and princesses of the online porn industry. No other continent appears to be so highly coveted in the realm of porn as is Asia. It seems that for every fetish that exists there also exists a website dedicated specifically to the asian subset of that fetish.
If there's a spanking website then the laws of internet porn dictate there must also be an asian spanking website. If there's a bestiality website then the laws of internet porn dictate there must also be an asian bestiality website. If there's a powertools fetish website then by law there must also be an asian powertools fetish website (hmmm... I wonder if it means anything that most of my powertools are Makita).
It seems that for any fetish site that exists the sure-fire way to improve that fetish is to add asians. It reminds me of that old Ritz Crackers commercial which said "everything tastes better on top of a Ritz". Which means if you can improve the taste of a Ritz cracker simply by putting it on top of another Ritz cracker. It also means the best taste experience you will ever have will be the biggest stack of Ritz Crackers you can fit inside your mouth.
By this reasoning the best sex experience you will ever have will be the biggest pile of asians you can get to fuck you.
Of course there also seems to be one other porn modifier that has the same effect as "asian". It would seem that for every fetish website out there there must also be a similar website with the "teen" modifier. Spanking website < teen spanking website. Powertool fetish website < teen powertool fetish website.
I don't know which modifier is more powerful, teen or asain but undoubtedly both would be combined to create the most uber of all websites the "teen asian" website. So a "teen asian powertool fetish website" would trump all other powertool fetish websites. By extrapolation this would seem to suggest that the most mind-blowing sexual experience you could have would be the biggest orgy of asian teens you can fuck but my real life experiences tell me this couldn't possibly be true.
A big pile of naked asian teens, self conscious, inexperienced, still carrying a bundle of social hangups, fumbling and bumbling about the general genital area. I think it could be better.
Let's face it, the truth of the matter is human beings don't really come into their sexual prime until their 30s. Sure, physically men are at their peak in their late teens, we can get it up instantly, but it's unpredictable and can go off without a moment's notice. We also really don't have a freaking clue what we're doing, we're carrying a lot of personal hang-ups and insecurities and emotionally, well most of us are a bunch of retards. Not just the guys, women too. Let's face it when we're teens we think we know it all, or more accurately we know we don't really know it all but we don't dare let anyone else know we don't know it all because everyone else seems to act like they know it all so we'd better know it all too. Most people around their mid-twenties begin to relize what a total fucking idiot they were as teenagers and would like to go back in time and kick their own ass around.
By the time you start to get into your 30s you realize that not only do you not know everything but that it's okay not to know everything. You've also become more secure with who you are as a sexual being and you've shed a lot of the unhealthy social hangups reguarding sex and self-worth... that is, assuming you've matured which isn't a given. Let's face it, I know people in their 50s who are still the same immature pricks they were at 15. You've also, if you're lucky, gained much more sexual experience. You've learned to read the cues of what your lover does and doesn't like. You may have picked up a few "mind blower" signature moves too guarenteed to drive 'em wild. You're probably a lot less selfish a lover.
So all in all I'd have to say that the teen asian modifier wouldn't translate as well off the net. Now give me the biggest stack of nekkid 30-something asians I can fuck and there's be a pretty mind blowing sexual experience. Although I don't think I'd want them to all be asian. I like asian girls. I married an asian girl (India is part of Asia). But if I'm going to have an orgy then by golly I'm not looking for an Attack of the Clones. Give me diversity, give me a rainbow of ethnicities and body types that I can get all up ons...
... and I guess for extra pleasure, slip a Ritz under them all.
posted by Ghastly @ 3:42 PM
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